GOD'S LOVE

God has some unique character's, one among them is His love for us. Though the words "God's love" sounds common, I am sure it is worth reflecting over and over. His love means different to different people in different situations. There can be nobody in earth who can ever say that they have never tasted God's love.

God's love cannot be compared to the earthly love which we give to our husband or children or parents or siblings, because they change and is not pure. Agape is an ancient greek word which means self-sacrificing love of God for humanity. In 1 cor 13:4-7 God defines love as being patient, kind, truthful, unselfish, trusting, believing, hopeful, and enduring. It is not jealous, boastful, arrogant, rude, selfish, or angry. True love never fails. The description perfectly fits God's love towards us, and it should be the way we should love each other and God.

Some of the characteristic features of God's love are as follows:

SACRIFICIAL LOVE: "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John3:16. Can you appreciate the sacrificial love here? Jesus was God's unique and eternal son but He was given to us just because GOD loved the world (none but us). Jesus came into this world as a normal human being, with same fresh and blood like us but the only difference was 'His greatest act of love' by giving His own life upon the cross.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: We do sacrifice a few things for others in this world but our love is always conditional. We expect them to do something back for us in return or will sacrifice only to a particular extent. Also we do this to people whom we know or to people whom we are forced to. This love is called phileo which we show to our brethren. 1 Peter 1:22 says "Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love [phileo] of the brethren, fervently love [agape] one another from the heart". Bible itself speaks of the different love existing in us. God's unconditional love is upon everybody (believers or non-believers), not based on familiarity or compulsion.

NON-PARTIAL LOVE: God created all kinds and colors of people. Some are tall, some are short, some are dark and some are light. He created us in such a way not for being partial but to love the difference. We are all special to God and He is not partial to anybody. He loves you as you are! He wants us to reciprocate the same kind of love to others. In Mt 22:39, He commands "Love your neighbour as you love yourself" and again in Mt 5:44 He commands "Love your enemies". These are given to us as commands and not as option like 'if you wish you love your neighour or enemy'.

UNCHANGING LOVE: People change from time to time, getting along with the world around them. And their love to their fellow beings also changes depending upon the situations and circumstances. It all depends on how other people behave toward us. But remember God loved us as sinners(Rom5:8). Jesus christ is the same yesterday, today and forever(Heb13:8) and His love never change to moods.

FORGIVING LOVE: God forgives because of His loving nature. He wants us also to forgive and love others for what so ever they could have done to us. This is best described from the parable of the prodigal son Luke15:11-32. For many of us it may sound unfair but we cannot judge God. If God was fair both the sons will go to hell. God judges the heart and forgives all sin because of His outrageous love.

ENDURING LOVE: God's love is enduring from generation to generation. Deut 7:9 says Lord keeps His covanent of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. He even spares the life of Isrealites whey they disobeyed Him for the covanent of love He made with the ancestors. 1 Chr16:34 says, "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever".

UNFAILING LOVE: God's love never fails because it is true and pure. David puts his trust in the Lord because of His unfailing love. Ps 13:5, 21:7, 31:16,52:8 describes the unfailing love of God. When we obey His commands like David, God will surely shower His unfailing love on us as He did to David.

INCOMPARABLE LOVE: We all know our parents or our spouse love us so much. Bible says, will someone give you a snake when you ask him a fish, or will your parent's give a stone for you to eat? When our earthly parents can love us so much, you can imagine howmuch our heavenly father will love us and care for us. Ps 27:10 tells, even if your father and mother forsake you, God will recieve you. His love cannot be compared with anyone else's love.

SELFLESS LOVE: Christ came to this world to lead a selfless life. He din't have a home or saved any riches when He was on earth, He went around healing sick people and forgiving sinners. He even washed His disciples feet. His selfless love is well depicted on the cross. He knew He is going to give His life for us even before He was born but still He chose to come because of this selfless love.

God's love can be expressed in many other terms like wonderful love, faithful love, divine love, thoughtful love...and it completely different from carnal love. Carnal love comes by shooting arrows on a person and telling him/her to fall in love, it does'nt come from the heart and hence it is the opposite of God's love. God's love has no borders and it is beyond reasoning. But luckily God's love can be taught, Titus 2:3,4 says "older women are to teach the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children."

God is love, whoever loves one another knows God and whoever does not love does not know God (1 John4:7,8). Love one another and know God personally. You own Him the way He owns you for for the Bible says "He has carved you in the palm of His hand". If He has a wallet He will definitely have your photo there because He loves you very dearly.

THE RECIPE OF A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE

Life on earth will be happy if our family life is blessed. A family is created when God unites a man and a woman in marriage. It was God who thought "It is not good for a man to live alone; I will make him a suitable companion to help him Gen 2:18." And it was not Adam who approached God about the situation and asked for a companion. Adam didn't know what he was missing! It was God who initiated the whole thing because that was His perfect plan. God instituted marriage, so He certainly knows how to make it work properly.

This topic is for all couple's and for those who are soon to be married. I hope you read this and be benefitted. It is absolutely necessary for us to build a home called " family " with " God " as the corner stone. It's rightly said in Ps 127:1 that 'If the Lord does not build the house, the work of the builders is useless'.

As all of you know foxes are known for their cunningness, there are foxes listed in Bible which ruin a happy family life. When we identify them at the right time and escape from the cunning tricks of these foxes we will surely lead a happy family life. For the Bible says, in song 2:15 that 'Catch the foxes, the little foxes, before they ruin our vineyard that is in bloom'.

There are ten little foxes that I would like to discuss here, which we have to hunt and chuck them out to lead a happy family life.

1. BEING PROUD: Proudness is part of some people's life, it is born with them. Proudness can be related to their richness, beauty or education. But when it comes to family life it's better for both the husband and the wife to come out of the proud feeling. If anyone (husband or wife) feels, I am greater than her or my family is greater than his, now is the time to throw away the cunning fox (proudness) out of your life to lead a happy life. 1Pet 5:5b says 'God resists the proud, but shows favour to the humble'.

2. FINDING FAULT: As human beings, it has become very easy for us to find fault in others rather than to analyse and rectify the fault that's in us. God tells us to look into the plank of dust that's in our eyes before we point that on others. There is nobody under the sky who is faultless, you and your partner are no exception. Once you are married, you will have to accept your partner as they are with all their weaknesses. They are grown ups and you cannot try to correct them. Instead, understand you too have your own weaknesses and try to appreciate the good things in them.

3. ANGER: It is normal for us to get angry but what you do once you are angry and how you get out of this anger is more important. Husbands, are you throwing things or using harsh words at your wife or avoiding a talk or even beating them? Wifes, are you shouting and fighting with your husband or punishing them by depriving him from his pleasureable activity? If you are doing this you are making things worser. Ps 4:4 says, 'In your anger, do not sin'. Instead be quiet, think over the situation from your partner's point of view. Even if, your partner is wrong, you be the first to apologise and start a pleasant conversation. Prov 25:28 says, if you cannot control your anger, you are helpless like a city without walls, open to attack. Beware of this cunning fox and let it not attack your happy family.

4. UNFORGIVING: There is always small fights and misunderstandings in a family life. But once the fight is over, forgive eachother and forget the incident completely. Don't feel shy or be ashamed to ask for forgiveness. Col 3:13 says, 'Be tolerant and forgive one another, whenever any of you have a complaint against someone else. Forgive just as the Lord forgives you.' You should forgive whole heartedly because that is the kind of forgiveness God is expecting from us Mt18:35. And when you say you have forgiven with all your heart, remember you are not going to talk about that incident anymore and not going to point out the days happening at any point of life in future. Mt 6:15 says, 'when we don't forgive others, our father in heaven will not forgive the wrongs that we have done'. If we want forgiveness for our sins we have to forgive others sins.

5. UNYIELDING: As arguements become a part of day to day life, it is good for one person to yield to another. Otherwise this little fox will start to play his own tricks. If you are not going to yield, you are going to break. Imagine a man riding on a bullock cart and he wants to turn left, what he does is he will lash the ox to his right with his whip which has a needle. In pain, the ox on his right will turn to take a left turn. That's how it goes. Will the rider be able to reach the destiny if the oxen turn in their own direction? Definitely no. Likewise, one should yield to the other and it will surely cause pain to the one who is taking the turn but you will be able to reach the destiny.

6. DOUBT: Let doubt never enter your mind at any cost. If this cunning fox enter's your family, it is not going to be easy to chase him away. Better don't let him in. Marriage is a trusting relationship. Trust your partner completely. If you dont trust your partner, you are going to doubt anything and everything. Once you are married, its good to maintain a distance with friends of opposite sex. Do not do anything for your parents or friends or colleagues without the knowledge of your spouse. There should not be any secrets between you both. If you want to help your family or friends with money, you discuss with your spouse and do it with his/her consent.

7. INTRUDERS: When you have problems in your family, do not let your parents or friends or another third person intrude you. Only you know the depth of the situation and you are old enough to take a decision. In Ps 45:10, the Bible says ' Bride, forget your people and relatives'. You can ask opinions from elders or share the problem with the person you rely but let them not decide for you. And let not their opinions impose your decision because its your family and you are going to live.

8. AUTHORITY: God has given equal authority for a husband and a wife. This authority is given to take care of each other well and fulfil the marital duties, not to boss over eachother. This is well explained in 1cor 7:3,4. Always let the male partner be incharge of the family, let the female partner walk beside him and take responsibility when it's absolutely necessary. Use this God given authority in a constructive way.

9. COMPARING: This is one common mistake that many of us make. Many conflicts in family arises when we compare our partner with somebody else, say it for keeping the house clean or the way of dressing or the matter of saving money. Each individual is different and they have their own positive and negative ends. Never think you are not a good suit for your spouse, like; I am not beautiful but my husband is handsome or viseversa. When you say that you are openly confessing against God and His creation because God created everybody in His own image and He is the one who has united you. 2cor 10:12 says "They measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves among themselves which is not wise, for they judge by their own standards!." I am sure all of you believe God's standards are different and always high compared to ours.

10. LACK OF TIME TOGETHER: Spending time together will prevent and put an end to a lot of problems. When you face a problem, don't pack your things to your parents house or try to live seperately, that is not going to solve the problem. Physical presence or togetherness is very important at this time. The scripture clearly tells 'a man should leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they become one Gen 2:24.' Take time and talk about the problem. Go to a quiet place or may be a restaurant/beach together and ventilate your feelings. Make outing as a family a must every week, this not only gives you privacy but also refreshes your mind.

A few other but important tips include:

1. Praying everyday together and being regular to Church.

2. Respecting eachother's family.

3. Appreciating eachother.

Love one another with God's kind of love. Everything will go well until you find something wrong with your spouse, but at that time let your love not fade away. Thats why I described it as God's love. God's love is unchanging, it is the same yesterday, today and forever. He know's we are sinners, yet He loved us and died for our sins (Rom5:8). Aren't you glad that God treated us that way? We didn't do anything to merit God's love. He just chose to give it. We can choose to receive that kind of love and then give it to others in the same way.

Wish you all a very happy married life!!!